Dealing with Enemies
- May 24, 2024
- 2 min read
It's natural to want justice. God is Just, and He created us to desire right treatment of one another. However, God also says, "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord." (Romans 12:19)
So, how can we love our enemies, as Jesus called us to do in Matthew 5:44-45? Here's an approach that I've found helpful when I'm struggling to love someone who has hurt me or someone I love:
I ask God to remind me of the depth of my sinfulness and the unfathomable magnitude of mercy, grace and love He's given me. (see Matthew 18:21-35)
I ask God to help me imagine what deep spiritual need my "enemy" has, and how mistreating others is a spiritually unhealthy way to meet that need. For instance, when someone is clearly selfish and hurts others with their words or actions, I wonder if they've developed that as an instinctive, yet clearly unhealthy way of meeting their need for significance. This doesn't excuse selfishness or abusive behavior, but it does help me to see them as someone who needs deliverance and healing, rather than seeing them as unworthy of God's love, mercy and grace.
I ask God where I have had or currently have unhealthy spiritual habits. When have I rationalized sinful thoughts or behavior because I'm desperately trying to fulfill my longing for significance, love, justice or security? This helps me to see my "enemy" as someone with a spec in his eye compared to the plank in my own eye (see Matthew 7:1-6).
I choose to stop seeing the person as my personal enemy, and instead see him/her as someone enslaved by the enemy. Ephesians 6 says that Satan and the spiritual forces of evil in this world and in the heavenly realms are our true enemies.
I pray for the person in the same way I would pray for myself and for people I love. I don't pray that they'll learn a lesson; I pray that God would deliver them and bring blessings into their lives.
I ask God what He is calling me to do in response to that person's sinful behavior. It's never okay to minimize sin or enable sinful behavior to continue. But it's not always my place to try to fix another person. If God is calling me to set boundaries or confront sinful behavior in another person, I ask Him to give me a humble, gracious, loving attitude in the way I do it. I am not a better person; I am a recipient of God's grace and mercy trying to help someone else experience God's deliverance and healing.
Here are some helpful articles for further reading and prayerful reflection, if you're interested:
May the Lord so fill you with His love that it spills over into every relationship in your life, including the difficult ones. (Ephesians 3:14-21)
Comments